Here's an update on my shamanic journey, on my entry date, (birthday) This year it fell on a Sunday, the 2nd August. I chose to spend my shamanic year of change, birthday event, at a show called the Star of London Show and the American Pleasure Horse Show in Surrey. What a day of learning for me!
American Pleasure Horse Show
The classes were judged on WES rules, namely the Western Equestrian Society. The judge was David Lloyd, a good-looking, wonderfully charismatic man with a devilish smile, keen and canny, very sharp intellect knowing the rule book backwards. David also possesses a grand sense of humour, which I soon found out after he disqualified me 3 times in the same trail class. I sure deserved it!
Memory Goes Blank on Trail Test
I had a great day. Ive leaned so much. Was grateful for the key pointers from the judge David Lloyd. I will have to go and learn some more for trail as I just don't seem to get it. As the course involves memorising the pattern I often get stuck, lost and duplicate areas of the pattern. So if Tommy can learn it for me then she can get on with it and i can play passenger! The trick will be getting her to learn it in advance.
My memory loss for short term items is part of the injury from 7/7 but I continue to move forward and learn the test, daily if necessary!
Winning Reserve Champion American Pleasure Horse
The highlight of the day was winning the Reserve Champion ribbon and a perpetual trophy for the American Pleasure Horse and Star of London class overall.
I was taken by total surprise, thrilled, I accepted the huge Reserve Champion rosette, then started to CRY!!!! My emotions got the better of me. What a moment, what a great moment. My partner instinctively knew and rushed over to me. My family and friends decided they would 
join us too. Everyone knew just how much being at the show, competing and achieveing the Reserve Champion meant to me.
join us too. Everyone knew just how much being at the show, competing and achieveing the Reserve Champion meant to me. After all the pain, the suffering with the operations, the dentist, the teeth infections all of it went away in one single moment.
Not that Courageous!
I have only been back in the saddle for all in all about a year. During the years previous, I had weekly lessons to retune my riding, try to deal with fear of falling and learn to develop my balance again. on the horse. Tommy, my birthday present in August 2008, I've only had Tommy to myself since May 2009. Previously, she had been with the talented trainer, Alan (aka Big Al") of Payne of Payne Performance Horses to be brought back into full work and prepared for his entry into the East Coast Show, which Tommy and Big Al went on to win. Tommy even spent her Christmas at the performance horse barn in Leistershire. As such my courage needed to attend shows and event just ride her on my own has slowly increased since May.
Initially, during my riding lessons, I was purely and utterly terrified. Clenched grinding teeth, extremely dry mouth, nausea, dizzyness, headache and a tummy upset each time I rode!Alan Payne, my long suffering patient trainer, had given me a few lessons. Both he and Sally were very understanding and waited while I took pain killers, nausea tablets, dizzy tablets with flavoured water to mask the bitter taste. On a number of occassions, I had been so afraid I just wanted to get off, I was very anxious and showed extreme panic. Big Al, just let me get off, calmly he would say its alright maybe next time. For me it's the spooky, back coming down, ears forward looking at sheep at the side of the arena, or anything else that a horse can spook at that got to me! I really felt a ninny!
Getting my ride back, confidence and courage has taken time. I have an inward fight with myself every time I ride. I am especially affected when riding and going into new situations. With sweating palms, dry mouth, nausea, shaking legs, I face the hack out of the show warm up pen, the collecting ring. Mentally I beat myself up and after a trip to the ladies loo, I pull myself together and get on with the ride.
I believe that Tommy is an angel in the form of a horse. She is my personal angel sent to heal me. She is doin' a fine job at it!
I LOVED my day it was the BEST birthday ever, even exceeded the trip to Euro Disney for my 40th!
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